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Sunday, September 30, 2007
I slept for 12 hours last night, and now I'm freaking tired because I over slept. I needed the sleep after Friday night, I had SOOOOO many Jaggerbombs. I had enough Redbull in me to keep me going for two days, lol. But I finally went to sleep around 11pm last night Friday, my friend Phillip came over and we had the jaggerbombs and he got smoked up on my back porch. Then we played GH2 (I realize that I suck at that game while drunk) So, around 2 Steve called and I took the call, talked to him for like 1 hour (I'm fucking wasted by this point) Anyways, I pass out until 7 the next morning and Nick gives me a whole lecture on how it was rude to talk on the phone while I had a friend over! I was so pissed and told him off for acting like my goddamn mother. I'm still prety upset with him. The ass.
# ranting @
8:45 AM
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Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I never feared the unexpected 'Till I found myself in this peculiar place Unaware of where I was headed Turns out it was your footsteps I had chased Well I should know so much better than this But you've occupied the center of my universe I'm moving in reverse Under your mighty curse I hate myself for loving you I turn my head away But my heart will remain 'Till the day I learn you're No Good for me It's illogical and it's outrageous The way I let you keep me hangin' on Your character is that contagious I know I should have thought before I had done I've gone and let my impulse be my guide And on that note I'll be defenseless for some time I'm moving in reverse Under your mighty curse I hate myself for loving you I turn my head away But my heart will remain 'Till the day I learn you're No Good for me Hey you there keep your distance Don't you come around here Don't test my patience baby 'Cause I aint gonna let you off easy I'm moving in reverse Under your mighty curse I hate myself for loving you I turn my head away But my heart will remain 'Till the day I learn you're No Good 'Till the day I learn you're No Good 'Till the day I learn you're No Good for me You're No Good, you're No good, you're No Good, you're No Good for me You're No Good, you're No good, you're No Good for me Ooh you're No Good Ooh you're No Good No Good for me
# ranting @
9:55 PM
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007
So, In North Carolina I will be living with a film director Richard, whom I have a war going on with. We make fun of each other non-stop to see who can "own" the other one more :) Then Joni, who was in a band (They have a CD) she's a crazy actress/singer but totally awesome to hang with. The last time I went to visit, Richard was doing a project and I met the make-up artist who worked on all the Chucky movies. He was really nice, too. Also, I might be rooming with a Porn star, If she decides to stay of course. I love this world, it's so amazingly humorous. My move will happen after I get back from Pittsburgh the 22nd, and I'm uber excited.
# ranting @
3:41 PM
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Monday, September 24, 2007
Man, I feel old. Today I was thinking, my 18 year nephew has a baby, my niece just turned 13 and my other nephew is 16. What the hell happened? It just seems all of it went by so quickly, Josh's first date, Allie's first straight A report card, Joey's first Juvey sentence (They grow up so fast) I'll be 22 in less than a month. Which I guess is a good thing, really. it means I survived 21 without dying of alcohol poisoning... Though, on my birthday the plan is to get "Out of this world" drunk with Steve and friends. I can't wait till my trip to Pittsburgh, it's gonna be SWEET.
# ranting @
5:51 PM
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Sunday, September 23, 2007
I'm so fucking tired, I had to get up at 7 after going to bed at four...There was this stupid meeting for Subway people, if I wasn't a night shift manager I would have bailed. After the meeting (We talked about bread and how to cut it for 40 minutes...no lie) I had to do some paper work I forgot to at the shelter and I got two women dumped on me and I had to do their charting. Then I went to work at subway at 4...now I'm dead. These are the times where I need a good hour of sex, so I can fall into a coma. Steve surprised me tonight, I honestly thought he was going to bail (like he did the other 2 times) but he proved me wrong for once. That makes me happy.
# ranting @
8:15 PM
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Friday, September 21, 2007
I've had a major bad week. I'm not feeling too well, mentally and physically. I wish I had real people I could talk to. None of my friends would understand... There's a lot of shit going on between Steve and I, nothing bad...but I'm beginning to remember why he was such a bad idea. The whole almost being shot thing, doesn't bother me as much as it did the other nurses. one quit and the other is on leave, which I guess only leaves me. I hate to disappoint all those doctors with the fake smiles, Being nearly killed isn't the worse thing to happen...being dead comes to mind. hmm, Although..tonight it would be a comfort. Someone save me.
# ranting @
9:13 PM
1 rantback(s)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I'm at the shelter, doing charts (or supposed to be) I have a bad sinus headache, and I was nearly killed yesterday by a manic patient with a gun. It was a weird day to say the least. Honestly I just don't care...maybe I'm a little disappointed that the bullet didn't hit me. I need sleep.
# ranting @
1:00 PM
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Resident Evil 3? The first movie wasn't horrible.. the second, however was. I didn't really like the games all that much. I mean, the first one was creepy and It was worth the all nighters. The other games, just seemed boring after a while. I rather play a real series, like Castlevania.
# ranting @
5:09 PM
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When I came here there was more. Now I've come back to destroy, And I've got nothing left, And it's a shame what we've become, When we hurt the ones we love, And it's a place I can not go, Anymore. When we collide we lose ourselves. When we collide we break in two, And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love, It's a hard mistake. When we collide, We break. When the cold comes crashing down, And the fight lost what it's about. I could tell that you'd left. It's a shame what we've become, When we hurt the ones we love. It's a place I can not go, Anymore. When we collide we lose ourselves. When we collide we break in two, And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love, It's a hard mistake. When we collide, When we collide. It's a hard mistake, When we collide. It's a mistake, When we collide we lose ourselves, When we collide we break in two, And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love, It's a hard mistake, When we collide, When we collide. It's a hard mistake, When we collide, we break, We break
# ranting @
1:13 PM
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Monday, September 17, 2007
I was wondering on the way home tonight when I past yet another fucking crappy sub-division... why people fight so hard to live in those kind of places? What is the appeal? close houses and little to no yard. The picture perfection of it, is enough to bore Buddha. Men and women work all day long, to come home to 3 screaming kids, whom by the way are zombiefied because the TV had to babysit them the whole afternoon. They work so hard for SUV's that they don't need, and Spanish Gardners that never really do anything... The house wives are a mixture of glorious crap... You have the obese house wife who is mistreated by her husband and children, but bows to their ever growing needs. You have the House wife who still thinks she 21, tans everyday, pukes up her dinner to be the glowing beauty that her scumbag husband has taught her to be. Then, you have the House wife who screws everything in sight, completely abusing and using her husband for everything he has. The husband of course puts his wife before the children...so, you know that they're going to be fucked and distant in adulthood. You do have the occational OK family, but I haven't met one yet. my bitterness has given me a headache.
# ranting @
11:44 PM
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I made a new banner today, I like the model picture. she's disturbing to me, and she fit what I wanted to do in photoshop. I like the turnout.
# ranting @
9:38 PM
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Sunday, September 16, 2007
K L: anything on your mind? Steve: kinda K L: wanna talk about it? Steve: yes K L: k Steve: if you don't want to save sex for me, it's ok Steve: i understand what its like to be horny Steve: and if you wanted to be with someone else i would understand. K L: Ok. K L: but understand that I don't go out and get sex, I can't just sleep with anyone and it be okay. I have sex with you, because I care about you....sex to me isn't about getting off, it's an emotional need more than anything. K L: So, what I'm saying is that I don't want to be with anyone but you. Steve: that makes me feel RERALLY good to hear Steve: i just wanted it to be your choice Steve: because it always is Steve: i wouldnt expect you to wait for me. but i love that you do. K L: You're also free to be with someone if you wanted. Steve: i already told you Steve: i'm waiting for you K L: you did? Steve: yeah Steve: a while ago K L: are you sure I wasn't drunk? Steve: umm Steve: i'm not. Steve: lol K L: lol. See you gotta keep track of these things Steve: well it still stands Steve: even though you didnt know i said it
# ranting @
10:59 PM
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I threw a huge party last night, my first real legal one! I got everyone's keys at the door and we all got trashed on liquor of sorts. The head count was around 20...more than I expected. but it was a drama free night and I enjoyed it so much. Tonight is rest night Movie rentals: "The 40 yr old virgin""The last Mimzy"
# ranting @
7:42 PM
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Saturday, September 15, 2007
The more I talk to Steve, the harder it is to be without him. I dream about him almost every night, I can't focus, he makes my stomach all "washing machine" like.... I hate this. I feel like all control is lost and there's nothing that can be done. Truth is I also kinda like not having security, it's like being naked in front of a college class room on the first day. What scares me is, how I'm going to feel when I leave him in October...It will break my heart, I know it. He texts me when he's at work, Messages like "hey beautiful", "i love you", "I miss you bad"... and when I get home from one of my jobs, or both..he IMs me and asks how my day was..lets me rant..and tells me how he wants to kidnap me and how bad he doesn't want me to leave. *sigh* it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks.
# ranting @
11:36 AM
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Wednesday, September 12, 2007
A quick review of my day: woke up at 3pm, took a shower, got my contacts at the eye doctor, got Mexican with friends, went to a used record store and got two new albums, came home played guitar hero 2, went for a long run down five forks (I beat my time. It only took me 17 minutes instead of 25) and now I'm here. This was an eventful off day. Yesterday wasn't so well. Because of my bank issue, I had to use Nick's card to buy stuff online. So, I just deposit one of my checks in his account and I get whatever I need online, easily. His mother got hold of the bank statements and fucking ridiculed me for spend 50 dollars on jeans. She called me "little girl" and I've never felt so low. I'm an adult, goddammit! When I get some extra cash, I like to treat myself to something I've been wanting. I spend my money on savings, bills, donations and to help my niece in school. I think that entitles me to splurge a little. Whatever, stupid, vapid, vindictive, bitch.
# ranting @
9:36 PM
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I bought my plane Tickets for Pittsburgh today. ------------------------------------------------- October 18, 2007, Flight 983 [Non-Stop] Departing Atlanta, GA (ATL) at 6:20 PM Arriving Pittsburgh, PA (PIT) at 8:05 PM October 22, 2007, Flight 991 [Non-Stop] Departing Pittsburgh, PA (PIT) at 5:42 PM Arriving Atlanta, GA (ATL) at 7:26 PM -------------------------------------------------- K L: did you get those dates?
Steve: yeah
K L: sound good?
Sreve: yeah
Steve: that end date is written in pencil
Steve: just in case i succeed
K L: Your plan to kidnap me.
minotaur_86: yep
# ranting @
2:12 AM
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Sunday, September 09, 2007
Updated classic novel list: The Devils-Fyodor Dostoyevsky The House of the Dead-Fyodor Dostoyevsky The Hunchback of Notre Dame-Victor Hugo The Scarlet letter-Nathaniel Hawthorne Jane Eyre-Charlotte Bronte Wuthering Heights-Emily Bronte (a very creepy novel)
# ranting @
11:52 PM
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Saturday, September 08, 2007
Is it October, yet? *sigh* I'm just really missing Steve, more than I thought I would. It's like he's a different person since we met. Like, him finally seeing me in person was a big turning point. I can't explain how affectionate he is or how completely thoughtful. Arggh...it's so damn frustrating... I've wanted him for 3 years, and now that I can have him....he's 12 hours away. I feel so lonely right now. anyway, Tomorrow I'm going to a pro-choice rally (my 2nd one this month) and then next week I have community duty. No sleep till I'm dead.
# ranting @
9:22 PM
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I finally went to see "Halloween" directed by Rob zombie. My final verdict is that it was OK, I mean...it was totally cheesy. I think that's what he was going for, though... to give it the same feel as the first Halloween. Almost everyone I know hated it... oh well that's what they can get for a movie that only has a one star review. :) Anyway, My family (I use that term loosely) are at each others throats again. My "family" consists of my two brothers, two sisters, 6 nephews, and 2 nieces. Keep in mind I have 8 brothers all together, but that side of the family doesn't speak to me. At any rate, My sister Rachel is the one that always starts the problems. She has mental health issues (I mean literally) so, right now she is being vindictive to one of my brothers and it's all a big mess. You know what sucks?....after my mother passed away, when I was thirteen I never had a real Christmas or thanksgiving since then. Everyone let their pride and egos get in the way of family, so as of now..they all have their own lives, their own families. I'm just stuck with a TV dinner and cartoons on holidays. Now that I think about it.... that's not so bad ;) but it would be nice to be wanted/loved by someone.
# ranting @
1:34 AM
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Sunday, September 02, 2007
So, I've decided that I'm North Carolina bound at the end of Oct. I recently got a job offer at a women's shelter there, and I would be living with a really good friend of mine. I'm excited! No more Atlanta, no more Nick, no more Nick's parents. It will be a good time.
# ranting @
11:05 PM
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Saturday, September 01, 2007
"On Tuesday night, broadcaster Tucker Carlson admitted on national television that he and a friend assaulted a person who "bothered" him in a Washington D.C. public restroom. He described grabbing and hitting the man against a stall, while drawing laughter from his fellow hosts.
MSNBC has replayed some of the segment, but cropped out Carlson’s comments that he "…went back with someone I knew and grabbed the guy by the -- you know, and grabbed him, and ... [h]it him against the stall with his head." That statement was coupled with laughter from Carlson's fellow hosts Dan Abrams and Joe Scarborough, suggested to viewers that physical violence is an appropriate response to an unwelcome proposal. This is dangerous and wrong.
MSNBC has yet to acknowledge Carlson's comments. By failing to address this issue, MSNBC is sending a message to their viewers this type of violence is appropriate."All I'm going to say is: 20 bucks says, he's a christian.
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