It has been a long time...over a year maybe 2...

So much has changed and developed in these 2 years. Steve and I got married, Had a beautiful baby boy and we're pretty much living the family life. I have to say that I'm shocked to have had marry my crush of 5 years, but I did it :) Even after all the stuff we have been through and the countless times he pushed me away.. I knew it was a front caused by years of a broken hearts. (I told you he would be mine one day)

I decided that its time to bring this blog back. I need someone (other than my husband) to talk to.. this blog is the story of my life and its going to be a great outlet when I need something to do.

My life as of now is pretty stagnant. not that it's a bad thing, Being a mom and a wife is a little more difficult than I had imagined. It brings a lot of trials that most people never think about when they jump into a relationship.

I had Benjamin (my son) in august 09 and since then I've just been learning as I go. with my mother being deceased and any female figure in my family being less than sane..I dont have any real women to talk to on what I should or shouldnt be doing. It's just a guess and go game with him. My husband tries to do his best as well...He really is an amazing father (by my surprise) He helps me with everything he can.
I guess I just miss the days when I was out protesting and living for a purpose. All the volunteer work that I gave and all the time I spent working on my career in Social working/ Non-profit agencies is pretty much gone to waste. I worked so hard to make a difference, and I truly believed that I was going to change the world. but then life got in the way.

I'm not saying that I regret my son or my husband. They are the family that I never had, the love that I've never experienced. I just hope that not all my work has gone in vain...maybe soon I can start once again when Ben is a little older. Just have to press pause and hope for the best.