It's 5:30 in the morning and I feel just as restless as I did at 10. Too much on my mind to sleep.

Nick is a great guy, I love him more than anything and he really does try. Though lately he's been a real jerk, arrogant and pushing me away. I know he has a lot on his mind I understand that...But what am I supposed to do..Stay on IM for 40 minutes of silence and then make little uninteresting comments to break the silence. Whatever.

I'm in need of real communication. Maybe that's why I run to S. When I have a bad day with Nick or if I feel lonely he's the first one I check to see if he's around. He's like one of best friends (a hot best friend).

Jesus Christ, I wish I was 21...Vodka would be my best friend for the evening.

Do you know what blows about small towns?? The fact that every job is taken by a pregnant 16 year old girl, or a guy that is trying to pay off his fines. No one wants to hire a high school graduate with no kids....fuckers.